Lord of the Death Star

Star Wars fanfiction 2

Home
Me
Chat
Star Wars fanfiction 1
Star Wars fanfiction 2
Humor
Quizzes
Links
Humor 2
Gallery

You better read this!
 
INT – OBIE WAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
                           
                           OBIE WAN sits in a chair in the darkness. His head is in his hands, and he is 
                           brooding like a man who is forlorn. PADME paces into the room, and is startled to
                           see him.
                           
                           					PADME
                           		Obie Wan, you’re awake too? I couldn’t sleep.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		This whole situation with Anakin has me very
                           		upset, Padme. I don’t get it why he is being
                           		the way he is being. Did I not train him?
                           
                           					PADME
                           		Nonsense, he is a complicated man.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		I fear that he is in danger. I fear that...
                           
                           					PADME
                           		That what? What is it that you fear?
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		I fear for you and your child. I do not think
                           		that you should of come here.
                           
                           					PADME
                           		Obie Wan... there was not just one.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		Of what do you speak of? Just one what?
                           
                           					PADME
                           		There is another child, still inside me. Anakin
                           		did not take well to the first one, so I left the
                           		second one concealed within me.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		I thought I detected an abnormality in your gait.
                           		We must remove this child at once, for its time to
                           		enter the world has passed once already. Come, the
                           		jedi council can easily arrange such a proceeding.
                           
                           					PADME
                           		I agree with you.
                           
                           Obie Wan rises and takes her hand, and they put on their cloaks and leave.
                           

 

INT – JEDI COUNCIL – DAY
                           
                           PADME and OBIE WAN stand in the middle of the circle of Jedis. They are the same
                           weird aliens as before. YODA and the BLACK GUY sit next to each other, their faces
                           stern with contemplation. Padme has her newer child in her arms, swaddled in white
                           robes.
                           
                           					YODA
                           		This child, Padme. Anakin does not know of it
                           		he does?
                           
                           					PADME
                           		As far as I know, he is unaware.
                           
                           					YODA
                           		Good, this is. For now this way we shall keep it
                           		we will.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		That is what we thought as well. Master... I have
                           		other disturbing news about Anakin.
                           
                           					YODA
                           		SILENCE! Tell me this news.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		He called himself Darth Vader when he saw his
                           		child. He said that it was his new name.
                           
                           					BLACK JEDI
                           		Why did you not tell us of this sooner, Obie Wan?
                           		This might turn out to be somehow important.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		I did not want you to hastily condemn him because
                           		of his new name, or anything. He is still my best
                           		friend.
                           
                           					YODA
                           		Foolish you are. Darth is the name of the Siths,
                           		who as you know are like the Jedis but bad, they
                           		are. And I thought that I was your best friend.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		Oh... Master Yoda, you certainly are. I only 
                           		meant that it should go without saying. But do
                           		you think that Anakin is truly a Sith?
                           
                           					PADME
                           		He had evil in his eyes when he tried to take
                           		the baby. I once loved him but now I love him and
                           		fear him, which is complicated.
                           			(Padme’s face strains; it is complicated)
                           
                           					BLACK GUY
                           		Obie Wan, we have been monitoring Anakin through
                           		Artoo’s eyes since last we met with him. He is back
                           		at his estate on Naboo. His behavior has been erratic.
                           		I suggest that we find a way to draw him out.
                           					YODA
                           		This was going to have been my suggestion have
                           		been.
                           
                           The Jedis, Anakin, Padme, Yoda, and the Black Jedi all exchange serious and worried
                           glances with each other.
                           
 
 
INT – ANAKIN’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
                           
                           We see ANAKIN’s sleeping face, his teeth clenched in obvious discomfort. He is in a
                           dream! But a dream of what? The camera moves ever nearer to his sweating face so we
                           can go in his head and find out. The scene blurs and we are transported to the 
                           dream...
                           
                           INT – FOUNDRY
                           
                           The scene is all wobbly, indicating that it is a dream. Nothing looks clear, but we
                           can see that Anakin is fighting a dark figure next to a ledge. Anakin’s heel
                           catches the edge, and we see him flail his arms and fall backward in slow motion 
                           into some really hot looking melted red fluid. It looks like lava but it’s probably
                           not lava.
                           
                           Anakin sits bolt upright, awakened from his dream.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		Padme! I...
                           
                           Anakin’s face darkens as he realizes that she’s gone. His hand moves to the side of
                           the bed where she would be, but he finds only the hard chassis of THREEPIO, who is 
                           deep in slumber. Anakin lies staring at the ceiling for a moment.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		Threepio... wake up. I am lonely.
                           
                           Threepio stirs; we hear a whirring as his systems boot.
                           
                           					THREEPIO
                           		Wh... What? Master, I was sleeping.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		Threepio, I had a terrible dream. I fell in some
                           		melted fluid and I probably died. Who knows anymore?
                           
                           					THREEPIO
                           		Master Skywalker, you miss Obie Wan don’t you?
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		Silence! Leave this bed! This is not about Obie Wan!
                           		And you shall call me Master Vader now, remember?
                           
                           					THREEPIO
                           		Forgive me Master Vader, but my motor systems are
                           		not fully back to their functions, for I was sleeping.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		We will see about that!
                           
                           Anakin pushes Threepio out of the bed with his feet and he hits the floor with a 
                           loud clank, which awakens ARTOO, who is perched on a table in the corner. His 
                           lights blink and turn on.
                           
                           					ARTOO
                           		Wheep whoop wheet?
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           					(SIGHS)
                           		Nothing. Go back to sleep.
                           
 
EXT – ANAKIN’S HOUSE – DAY
                           
                           OBIE WAN’s Jedi starship makes a graceful landing on the front porch. Obie Wan hops
                           out and runs up to the door and bangs on it like he means business, which he does. 
                           THREEPIO answers the door. 
                           
                           					THREEPIO
                           		Once again, Obie Wan, I am glad to see you, but
                           		I doubt that Master Vader will share my pleasure.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		Please do not call him by that name. It is a foul
                           		and corrupted name and all of us guys are trying
                           		to get him to stop it.
                           
                           					THREEPIO
                           		Very well, but I shall still call him that to his
                           		face, because he kicked me out of bed last time.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		This is disturbing in many ways, my friend. I must
                           		impose upon you to summon your master at once. Tell
                           		him it’s Jar Jar Binks.
                           
                           					THREEPIO
                           		I will do it.
                           
                           Obie Wan folds his arms and paces, mouthing practice sentences; he is rehearsing 
                           for to see his apprentice once more. Anakin bursts through the door, happier than
                           he has been in some time.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		Jar Jar, what an unexp...
                           
                           Anakin stops in his tracks.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		The unmitigated nerve of you, Obie Wan. To come here,
                           		after you have stolen Chappie away from me so cruelly.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		His name is not Chappie, it is Luke. He will not take
                           		on a cursed name, as you are determined to do. He is
                           		an innocent child.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		Whatever you call him, it takes all of my restraint not
                           		to strike you down. And to drag poor Jar Jar into this...	
                           					
                           OBIE WAN
                           		Jar Jar is not actually here.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		You are a liar and a kidnapper and a traitor. I am
                           
                           		ashamed to have once called you master. Where is Jar
                           		Jar?
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		As I told you, he is not actually here, I would 
                           		imagine he is back at the Senate... but this is not
                           		Relevant, Anakin. You must come back with me and be
                           		cleansed in the Yoda Pool.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		Silence! I need no cleansing. Besides, the Yoda Pool
                           		is merely a myth... there is no magical cure for the
                           		anger in my blood.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		I will take you by force if I have to, but I didn’t
                           		want to at all because I like you and we’re supposed
                           		to be friends.
                           
                           Obie Wan reaches to his belt to grab his lightsaber, but a haymaker from Anakin 
                           lays him flat! Anakin jumps into Obie Wan’s starship and lifts off into the sky. 
                           Obie Wan springs up and tries to jump for the ship, but he falls short.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		That was terrible.
                           
                           Threepio emerges from the house.
                           
                           					THREEPIO
                           		What is this commotion, sir? Where is Master Skywalker?
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		I beat him up and then he left.
                           
                           					THREEPIO
                           		Oh dear.
                           
 
 
 
 
EXT – DEGOBAH – DAY
                           
                           HAN SOLO sits idly under a knotty tree in the swamp. He is casually throwing sticks
                           for CHEWBACCA who bounds after them, tongue lolling out and tail wagging.
                           
                           					HAN SOLO
                           		I sure hope that Jedi remembers to come back and get
                           		us. He was supposed to be here hours ago!
                           
                           Chewbacca, with a stick in his mouth, looks at Han Solo quizzically and wags his 
                           tail. He drops the stick at Han Solo’s feet.
                           
                           					HAN SOLO
                           		I know I shouldn’t be bothering you with my worries.
                           		You have no conception as to what’s going on in this
                           		damn galaxy, do you boy?
                           
                           					CHEWBACCA
                           		Woof!
                           
                           					HAN SOLO
                           				(picks up the stick)
                           		Atta boy. Let’s keep ourselves amused until that Jedi
                           		decides to come back here and get us, okay?
                           
                           Han Solo throws the stick, and Chewbacca bounds after it. Halfway to his 
                           destination, Chewbacca’s back legs give in beneath him and he falls to the ground, 
                           squealing. Han Solo jumps up and runs over to check on him.
                           
                           					HAN SOLO
                           What’s the matter, buddy? Oh my goodness... you’re
                           	       molting again.
                           
                           We see a series of montage shots of Han Solo being caring and motherly. He brings 
                           Chewbacca water and bits of rubbish to eat. He pets him. Intercut with his montage 
                           are special effects shots- Chewbacca’s muscles develop. His paws turn to crude 
                           hands. From behind, we see him stand upright.
                           
                           					HAN SOLO
                           		You’re growing up so fast, buddy. I can’t believe it.
                           		Three years old and you’re already an Ewok!
                           
                           					CHEWBACCA
                           		Chippy chirpy!
                           
                           					HAN SOLO
                           		I’d better enjoy these days while you’re still little
                           		enough to cuddle, Chewy. Before I know it you’ll be a
                           		Wookie and then it’ll be all business.
                           
                           Han Solo tenderly hugs Chewbacca. A tear rolls down his cheek as Chewy purrs and
                           trills contentedly.
                           

 

 

EXT – DOOKU’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
                           
                           Obie Wan’s Jedi Starship touches down in front of Doku’s Fortress. Anakin leaps 
                           out, clearly enraged. DARTH CARNAGE walks from the shadows to greet him.
                           
                           					DARTH CARNAGE
                           		The young prodigy has arrived. Doku will be pleased
                           		To see you, Vader.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		Save your flattery for someone that it works on, Darth
                           		Carnage. Since I am the new Darth, you are nothing more
                           		than a third wheel.
                           
                           					DARTH CARNAGE
                           		We shall see, Jedi. You have not yet proved yourself.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		Show me to Dooku.
                           
                           					DARTH CARNAGE
                           		As you wish.
                           
                           INT – DOOKU’S HIDEOUT
                           
                           Anakin enters. He hesitates, then bows to DOOKU. DOOKU rises from his black throne
                           and walks slowly toward Anakin.
                           
                           					DOOKU
                           		Darth Vader. I can already sense that Palpatine was
                           		wise to recruit you. I can feel your Force Power.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		Although many years have passed, Dooku, I have not
                           		forgotten what you did to me. Now you are old and
                           		feeble and tired.
                           
                           					DOOKU
                           		Why do you speak this way, apprentice? Surely you can
                           		see that taking your arm was a necessary part of 
                           		feeding your hatred.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		And now I will take advantage of this hatred, to revenge
                           		myself upon you.
                           			(Anakin draws his lightsaber)
                           
                           					DOOKU
                           		I guess that’s fair enough, young Vader.
                           
                           Anakin whirls and twirls with his lightsaber. Dooku blocks his blows, but he is 
                           obviously outmatched. Anakin chops off his arm. Dooku is shocked!
                           
                           					DOOKU
                           		I didn’t think you’d really do it, Vader. You are
                           		truly a fool, Vader. Darth Carnage shall tear you to
                           		pieces for this!
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		I would not count on that.
                           
                           Darth Carnage steps out from the shadows. Has he been there the whole time!?
                           
                           					DARTH CARNAGE
                           		I serve a new master now.
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		We are going to kill him now, right?
                           
                           					DARTH CARNAGE
                           		I thought that we were going to.
                           
                           Darth Carnage slowly extends the blade of his Dark-Saber. Anakin and Darth Carnage
                           descend upon him with fury. We see Dooku makes a terrified and pleading face in a
                           close-up and then the scene ends.
                           
                           INT – YODA’S MEDITATION ROOM – NIGHT
                           
                           YODA hovers with a troubled look on his face. His eyes are closed really tight with
                           the strain of thinking and sensing things. The PINK JEDI WITH THE TALL HEAD sits 
                           beside him, concentrating similarly. Yoda opens his eyes.
                           
                           					YODA
                           		I sense that a new Darth has risen he has.
                           
                           					PINK JEDI
                           		What can we do? Is there hope?
                           
                           					YODA
                           Shhh. There may yet be hope there may be. Prepare 
                           the Yoda Pool we must.
                           					
                           					PINK JEDI
                           		This development is troubling for the Jedi.
                           
                           EXT – ANAKIN’S ESTATE – DAY
                           
                           The BLACK GUY touches down in a large Jedi Spaceship on Anakin’s lawn. OBIE WAN 
                           runs toward the ship, and Artoo and Threepio amble along behind him.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		Thank you for picking me up. I fear that I don’t
                           		know where Anakin might be.
                           
                           					BLACK GUY
                           		The Jedi spotted him on Coruscant recently, but
                           		it is clear that he was there only for a brief time.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		Do we know who he visited or what he did?
                           
                           					BLACK GUY
                           		He did not go and see Yoda, which I think was 
                           		intentional. Yoda was hurt by this, as you might
                           		imagine.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		I see. Where did he go then?
                           
                           					BLACK GUY
                           		He may have gone to see Palpatine, the new Emperor
                           		of the Republic.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		Palpatine is a good man and a wise ruler; perhaps
                           		he talked some sense into him. Come on, let’s get
                           		out of here, we will talk on the ship.
                           
                           They get into the ship, along with Artoo and Threepio, and leave into space.
                           



INT – THE SLAVE ONE

OBIE WAN and THE BLACK JEDI are tied up on a wall looking nervous. BOBA FETT paces
in front of them, examining their faces.

OBIE WAN
You must let us go, Boba Fett. The fate of the
galaxy may rest in our hands.

BOBA FETT
Shut up! One of you killed my father, and you are
not going anywhere until somebody admits it!

OBIE WAN
This is foolishness! Your father tried to kill the
Jedis!

BOBA FETT
Liar! You lie! My father was in league with the most
powerful Jedi of all, Count Dooku! Now, one of you
must admit it before I gut you both!

Obie Wan and the Black Guy stare at him in angry silence.

BOBA FETT
I know that one of you did it. In fact, I even know
which one of you it was. Now just admit it, and we
can all get out of here.

The Jedis still don’t say anything.

BOBA FETT
(stares at Obie Wan)
Wouldn’t you like to leave? I think you know who it
was. Wouldn’t you like to tell me, and then maybe that
person, whoever it was, might admit it?

Obie Wan spits on the floor in contempt. Boba Fett slaps him in the face.

BOBA FETT
This is not a game, Jedi! (he turns to the Black Guy)
Don’t you have anything to tell me? I’ll let you go if
you just admit that you were wrong.

BLACK GUY
Well...

BOBA FETT
Go on. We are putting this all behind us now, Jedi.

BLACK GUY
Yes, I killed Jango Fett, with my lightsaber.

Boba Fett pulls out a knife and stabs the Black Guy all of the sudden! The Black
Guy looks at him with an expression full of sadness and surprise.

OBIE WAN
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Boba Fett stares at the dying black guy. He wipes his knife against his pants and
slowly turns to face Obie Wan.

 

 

INT – PROTOTYPE TYE FIGHTER

DARTH CARNAGE mans the controls as Anakin paces moodily behind him.

DARTH CARNAGE
I do not understand why we must go to Coruscant, a
hotbed of Jedi activity. We must keep a low profile,
master.

ANAKIN
No not tell me what to do. If you must know, we are
going there to rescue my son, Chappie, from the hands
of a demented Jedi.

DARTH CARNAGE
A son? Why was Palpatine and my Master not made aware
of this?

ANAKIN
Chappie is my own business. I must get him back from
Obie Wan before he turns him into a fruit. He has named
him Luke already.

DARTH CARNAGE
Obie Wan... I have met him. I fought with him briefly.
He is quite strong, and strong and powerful with The
Force.

ANAKIN
His only power is to hold me back!

DARTH CARNAGE
Yes, well he seemed powerful.

EXT – PALPATINE’S APARTMENT

The Prototype TYE Fighter touches down on the roof, and ANAKIN and DARTH CARNAGE
hop out. PALPATINE storms up to meet them, full of pompous bluster.

PALPATINE
You fools! You cannot be seen together on Coruscant!
You will blow this thing wide open!

ANAKIN
Where is Padme, master? I must see her.

PALPATINE
No! You must not! She must not know of our
plans.

ANAKIN
She has something of mine that I must get back
from her.

Palpatine looks quizzical, and then his face takes on a twisted smile.

PALPATINE
A... son? Oh Anakin, I’m so proud of you! Is he
a boy or a girl?

ANAKIN
                He is a boy, my lord. He is small and bald and fat, like a
                normal baby. He must be less than a day old. He was taken
                from me by Obie Wan and Padme.

PALPATINE
I will give you Padme’s address. Please wear normal clothes
to avoid suspicion.

ANAKIN
Very well.

INT – APARTMENT COMPLEX – OUTSIDE PADME’S ROOM

DARTH CARNAGE and ANAKIN, wearing simple tan robes, stand outside nervously.

ANAKIN
You wait out here, Darth Carnage. You might scare her.

DARTH CARNAGE
I am a pretty scary looking guy!

ANAKIN
Okay, be cool.

Anakin knocks on Padme’s door. PADME opens it, holding young Leia.

ANAKIN
I am here for my child, Padme. Give him to
me now.

PADME
Anakin! How did you find me!

Padme tries to slam the door, but Anakin puts his ankle in the door.

ANAKIN
The child! Give him to me!

PADME
This child? This is not our child, I am holding
this child for a friend. See, she is a girl.

PADME opens the child’s drawers to reveal her genitalia.

ANAKIN
I see... but where is Chappie?

PADME
{annoyed}
Luke is far away from here, and far away from
you. I heard what you said about being called
Darth.

ANAKIN
It is true, although I sense a presence here,
it does not seem to be his. I will go now, but
you have not seen the last of me!

PADME
Well you know what, I hope I have.

Anakin removes his ankle from the door and storms out, limping. Darth Carnage follows.

 

INT – SLAVE ONE
                           
                           We rejoin the scene as BOBA FETT stares menacingly at OBIE WAN. He raises his knife
                           and steps toward him.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		Thank god you killed him!
                           
                           Boba Fett stops and looks puzzled.
                           
                           					BOBA FETT
                           		What on earth do you mean, Jedi?
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		He was a terrible tyrant! The Jedis all hated him!
                           
                           					BOBA FETT
                           		So why were you with him if he was bad?
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		We feared his power! He was an evil mastermind!
                           
                           					BOBA FETT
                           		Is this why he killed my father? Because he was
                           		some sort of bad jedi?
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		You had better believe it, Boba! Now come on, let
                           		me go, we have to stop my friend from getting his
                           		child back!
                           
                           					BOBA FETT
                           		Sure thing, Jedi, let’s get to it!
                           
                           Boba Fett unties the ropes holding Obie Wan’s hands. Obie Wan pulls Boba Fett’s 
                           cape over his helmet and knocks him out with a knee to the face! He drags him into 
                           the Slave One’s utility closet and bars it shut with a wrench.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		The old Jedi Mind Trick has won me another battle!
                           		I should of thought of that before he killed the
                           		Black Guy though.
                           
                           Obie Wan picks up his lightsaber and runs to the room across the hall where ARTOO 
                           and THREEPIO are tied up. He uses his lightsaber to cut their ropes.
                           
                           					THREEPIO
                           		Master Obie Wan, you’re alive! Is the Black Guy
                           		okay?
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		I’m afraid he did not make it.
                           
                           					ARTOO
                           		(mournful whistle)
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		Now come on, let’s get back to Coruscant!
                           
                           Obie Wan seizes the controls of the Slave One and it flies off into space.
                           


 

Fade in with swelling trumpets to the busy skyways
                           of Dantoonine.
                           The skies are bustling with all spaceships of all shapes and sizes,
                           moving to and fro between the tall brown buildings.
                           
                           ONE SHIP zooms into the foreground, zipping lightly along very close to the ground.
                           A HAMMERHEAD is walking by with some friends and the spaceship swoops by
                           right over his head. The HAMMERHEAD ducks and shakes his fist.
                           
                           HAMMERHEAD: Jedi PooDoo!
                           
                           Wash to a small apartment building. OBI-WAN and ARTOO approach a small door.
                           OBI-WAN looks grim and pensive.
                           
                           OBI-WAN: I'm not looking forward to this, Artoo.
                           
                           Arrtoo whistles mournfully.
                           
                           The door whooshes open and Maala Windu, a severe-looking black woman
                           is standing before them. She smiles warmly.
                           
                           MAALA: Obi-Wan! This is a surprise!
                           
                           She gives OBI-WAN a loving hug, and attempts to kiss him, but OBI-WAN
                           pulls away with embarrassment.
                           
                           Cut to Artoo whistling with confusion as his head swivels around.
                           
                           MALA: It is OK, Obi! Master Windu is far away battling Rankors!
                           He has no knowledge of your visit here! (concerned)
                           You were not followed here by him, were you?
                           
                           OBI-WAN: I'm afraid not. (takes MALA's hands)
                           Jedi Master Windu has been killed.
                           
                           A single tear drops from MALA'S beautiful eye. WE SEE it land in
                           slow-motion on Artoo and burst in a beautiful halo.
                           
                           MALA: I know... somehow...I've known all along.
                           
                           OBI-WAN: (startled) You do? But how could you...(realizes)
                           
                           MALA: I have something of the Force in me as well, Obi.
                           
                           OBI-WAN: But you have no midichlorians in you! I checked you myself!
                           
                           MALA: You have not checked me out for the midichlorians since
                           before the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan. I have lots of them now. We have
                           found a way to cultivate them by using a hyperdrive motivator.
                           
                           OBI-WAN: But...that's brilliant! Who thought of such a -
                           
                           Enter a suave-looking black child clad in royal blue pajamas.
                           
                           LANDO: Daddy! Daddy! (sees OBI-WAN, slows)
                           
                           MALA: I have some bad news, little one.
                           
                           LANDO: (eyes widening) No....
                           
 
INT.
                           INDUSTRIAL CHAMBER
                           
                           THREEPIO, tied to a girder, watches anxiously as the carbonite
                           block containing PADME is raised out of the machine by two
                           IMPERIAL SOLDIERS, WILKINS and DINN, who for some reason
                           aren't clones.
                           
                           	THREEPIO
                           	Well rust my bolts!
                           	How dreadful!
                           
                           VADER enters in his floating wheelchair without wheels.
                           He notices the PADME SLAB.
                           
                           	DARTH VADER
                           	Yes... Very good. Now
                           	she will be my silent,
                           	beautiful bride for all
                           	eternity! Were there
                           	any complications?
                           
                           	WILKINS
                           	No, but... just before
                           	we froze her, she said
                           	the name... "Anakin."
                           
                           	DARTH VADER
                           	Don't ever call me that!
                           	Sargeant Wilkins, fetch me
                           	my lightsaber!
                           
                           	WILKINS
                           	Yes, sir.
                           
                           WILKINS exits and returns with the lightsaber. VADER uses the
                           Force to wedge the handle between his knees and turn it on,
                           then drives his wheelchair forward, piercing WILKINS with the
                           blade. He falls over dead, the saber still protruding from his chest.
                           
                           	DARTH VADER
                           	Now, I will need a cybernetic
                           	spinal column because mine
                           	burned up in the lava. Wilkins,
                           	fetch me that droid!
                           
                           He gestures with his eyes toward THREEPIO.
                           
                           	DINN	
                           	Uh, he can't, sir. Wilkins
                           	is dead.
                           
                           	DARTH VADER
                           	Don't you tell me what Wilkins
                           	can and can't do! Fetch me my
                           	lightsaber!
                           
                           DINN retrieves the lightsaber from WILKINS' corpse and wedges it
                           between VADER's knees again. VADER drives forward into DINN,
                           killing him.
                           
                           	DARTH VADER
                           	Let that be a lesson to you,
                           	Wilkins. Don't question my
                           	orders. Now untie that droid.
                           	We have work to do.
                           
 
 
Diagonal wash to the bridge of a
                           Federation cruiser. Obi-Wan strides back
                           and forth impatiently.
                           
                           OBI-WAN: Pilot! How long until we reach Tatooine!
                           
                           PILOT: Pretty soon, sir!
                           
                           OBI-WAN (muttering to himself Not soon enough.
                           (thumbs comlink) Engineering! Can't we go any faster?
                           
                           ENGINEER (in Chinese accent): This ahs fahst ahs
                           we cahn goh, mahstah!
                           
                           Padme enters.
                           
                           OBI-WAN: Padme!
                           
                           PADME: Obi-Wan. I found someone who can help us
                           reach Tatooine ahead of Anakin!
                           
                           Sergeant Ackbar enters, clad in the simple gray cloak of the Mon Clameri
                           underling
                           
                           SERGEANT ACKBAR (gruffly): General Kenobi.
                           We have found a way to reroute power to the auxillary
                           thrusters to increase propulsion by 40%!
                           
                           PADME: Oh!
                           
                           OBI-WAN: Well done, Sergeant!
                           
                           SERGEANT ACKBAR(gruffly): With our new power
                           dispersal we should reach the target in a few hours!
                           
                           PADME: You have stuff hanging off your chin.
                           
                           SERGEANT ACKBAR (gruffly): This is like a beard.
                           
                           OBI-WAN (amused): But the Mon Clamari are a hairless race!
                           
                           JAR JAR BINKS: Meesa ne wanga gotta beard, and
                           muy muy peoples gon' be wantin' one twosie! (trips, falls)
                           
                           SERGEANT ACKBAR: (coughs gruffly)
                           
                           OBI-WAN: You serve the Alliance well... Commander!
                           
                           PADME: That shit's gross.
                           

 

 

INT – YODA CHAMBER
                           
                           ANAKIN and OBIE WAN are fighting each other with lightsabers, precariously close to
                           the Yoda Pool. They jump around on things, and they keep almost hitting each other
                           but then one of them will duck just in time and not get hit. There is a bead of 
                           sweat on Obie Wan’s brow, and his usually lighthearted temperament is tempered with
                           steely angriness. 
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		You shall not knock me in! I am more powerful
                           		than you have ever been, former master. I am more
                           		powerful than ANYONE has ever been!
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		Anakin, you must let the Yoda Pool cleanse you
                           		of your dark-side taint!
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		My name is still Darth Vader now!
                           
                           ANAKIN lunges at Obie Wan and their struggle continues.
                           
                           INT – PADME’S BEDCHAMBERS – DAY
                           
                           PADME is rocking LEIA in her arms and looking worried. Leia coos and gurgles like a
                           baby would. Padme is clearly waiting for something... or someone! There is a knock
                           at the door. Padme answers it, and it is JAR JAR.
                           
                           					JAR JAR
                           		Massa, me got a message fo’ ya, from massa
                           		Bail Organa. He wanna take yo baby, chile.
                           
                           					PADME
                           		Bail Organa? I am reluctant to trust a senator
                           		now that Palpatine has declared himself Emperor.
                           
                           					JAR JAR
                           		He naw senator no mo,’ chile. He a king now! Yo
                           		baby gonna be a princess!
                           
                           					PADME
                           		Well I suppose that sounds pretty good. Would
                           		you take it to him now?
                           
                           					JAR JAR
                           		Sho’nuff, massa.
                           
                           Jar Jar takes little Leia in his arms and exits. Padme sits in a chair and weeps,
                           because she is sad that both of her babies are gone.
                           
                           INT – YODA CHAMBER
                           
                           OBIE WAN continues to battle ANAKIN above the Yoda Pool.
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		If you will not listen to reason, I shall have to
                           		knock you into the Yoda Pool by force!
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		Never! My midichlorians will remain just as they are!
                           
                           					OBIE WAN
                           		But Anakin, your midichlorians have turned evil and
                           		are destroying the balance in your body! Can you not
                           		see what you have turned into!
                           
                           					ANAKIN
                           		I have turned into... A GOD!
                           
                           Anakin and Obie Wan fight some more. We see PALPATINE step out of the shadows, 
                           outside their field of view. Palpatine pulls a bubbling potion out of his cloak and
                           holds it over the Yoda Pool.
                           				
                           					PALPATINE
                           		Obie Wan is a fool! I shall taint the Yoda Pool,
                           		And Anakin will NOT be healed when he falls in, 
                           		but will instead be turned... turned into a
                                           terrible robot of the Dark Side!
                           
                           Palpatine pours the potion into the Yoda Pool, which turns from a cool minty blue 
                           to a terrible swirling red and black color.
 
 
Is it good or what?!?

Enter supporting content here

made buy: Eärwen the Dragon Queen